Sunday, April 26, 2009

Right after the train I was riding turned into a taxi cab

“Congratulations passenger, this is the cash cab! Your first question: What is the name of the fully evolved Pokemon that originates with Squirtle?”

Right before we hit East Broadway station

“Attention passengers, due to construction this F-train will turn into a taxi cab at East Broadway and will run express to 507 Grand street, all passengers but the man in the second to last car who used to wear animal shirts in middle school should exit the train at this time.”

Conductor explains why the train stopped

“Ladies and Gentlemen the debris blocking the tracks turned out to be boxes full of Cheezits and money, we will be giving it to the first passenger who successfully names the two advanced forms of the Pokemon Squirtle. We will also give a percentage to the hilarious homeless man to eliminate any guilt our passengers might feel.”

The train stops

“Attention passengers, sorry for the delay, but there is some debris blocking the tracks, we will clear it and should be moving shortly.”

Once the F starts going

“Ladies and gentlemen, due to construction this F-train will be running express to East Broadway station.”

Right after they made the announcement about solicitors

“We take it back, the one homeless man who makes funny jokes and sings ‘It’s getting hot in here’ is allowed to stay on this train, providing he willingly accepts that slightly overweight balding men are in no way responsible for giving him any money.”

At West 4th

“This is West 4th station, stand clear of the closing doors please. Also, ladies and gentlemen, any homeless entertainers or solicitors must leave the train at this time.”

Right before getting to West 4th

“Attention ladies and gentlemen, due to construction, this train will be turning into an F-train at West 4th street, sorry for the inconvenience”

The train begins moving after a delay

“Ladies and gentlemen, just a friendly reminder from the MTA, if you see anything suspicious, say something, also if you see any slightly overweight balding men, give them your seat.”

Train stops for some reason

“Attention ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the delay but we are being held momentarily by the train dispatcher. To apologize please accept these gifts of red bull and Cheezits.”

Getting on the Train

“Attention ladies and gentlemen, due to construction this A-Train will be running express from 145th street to West 4th station where transfer is available to the F-train.”